Conducting a Sockdolager: The End of the Line

Upon learning about Seamus’s fondness for trains and the Beaverbrook’s desire to see the “the End of the Line” in Elmira, A. J. MacDonald’s father delivered a sockdolager: "Seamus, I’ll drive you there, son. It’s only handy from where I spent my first fifty years. Let's go before the roads get slippy, eh?"

St. John Journal Entry: The Hapless Hockey Confederates

Written by the Mickey Dupere, the fictitious St. John Journal' hockey scribe:

Losers of their last six contests, the hapless Charlottetown Confederates look for better luck (three post-ringers in the third period last night against the Bridgeport Barnums) when they play the St. Andrews Beaverbrooks this weekend. The Feds will need to shore up their team defense; it's like one PEI Islander commented to this reporter: "They're running around like a fart in a mitten."

Etiolated: Weak Imported Play and Vegetables

The Beaverbrooks, 0-5 losers to the Atlantic Puffins, left St. John's with a favorable impression of the local hockey team, as well as the music and pub scene, but the team was less impressed with its weak performance and the days-old etiolated imported vegetables. (Newfoundland can grow stout hockey players, but the province's acidic and stony soil aren't conducive to cultivating first-rate greens.)

Brown Study: Insight into Despair

During his spiritual and emotional demise, Seamus fell into a brown study, a self-absorbed funk that isolated him from his family, the fourth estate and his teammates.

King of the Caterwaul: Alpie Pommeraie

Andrew de La Pommeraie, the short Providence Sterlings forward with the league's longest last name, eluded many a defender. Quick as a caffeinated cat, for sure. But in the rare instance an opponent mashed him against the boards or knocked him to the ice, "Alpie" (as his teammates called him), would caterwaul to the officials.